I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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