Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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