you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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