thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
