And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
this will be a night to untag.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
