i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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