How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
