Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i came on her dog
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
