if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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