I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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