A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
