There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
