Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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