I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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