He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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