I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
