Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize