The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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