Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
