Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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