There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
