Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
