Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
