dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
