Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
