he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
