awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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