my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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