did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
