Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
