i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
