Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
