Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
