he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize