ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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