How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize