How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
