I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
