I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
