So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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