Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
