can u get pink eye on your cock?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
