I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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