If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
