Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
