my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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