Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
