I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
