She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
