I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
its not stalking. its research.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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