there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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