grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
