Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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