Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
