My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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