And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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