I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
