is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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