found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
