I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
