Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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