is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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